stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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