Your tits are I can't wait for
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
