just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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