Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
