At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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