You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
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Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i think my cat just said my name.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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