hell yes lets make some ravioli
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
