you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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