Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
