He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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