i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
COCAINE IS GR8
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize