guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
