i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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