idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
