I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
