Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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