i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
