Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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