life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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