Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
