standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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