well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
