Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
