i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
