If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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