I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
