i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
