I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize