remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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