I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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