Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
