We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
