Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
