Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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