Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
