Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
