Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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