he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
