I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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