I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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