I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
