Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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