No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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