and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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