Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
