Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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