She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
