From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If I die, sorry about rent.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
