they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
