just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
