just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
