How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
