Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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