and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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