thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
