btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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