I need help removing her.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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