no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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