I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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