Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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