You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
